My Wellness Journey by Deborah Matthews

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Like so many of you, my life has flipped and flopped, soared and crashed, plateaued, leaped, and crumbled.  It’s often been messy and confusing with a healthy dose of belly laughs and sorrow.  When I listen to the message, life seems to be encouraging me to “Let yourself adapt, Deborah . . . adapt.”  With the constant change I have experienced in my health, thoughts, environment, and community, I’ve had to define for myself what being well and wellness means.  It couldn’t be about not being sick or in pain.  I have chronic kidney disease, migraines, and a host of other health challenges.  It couldn’t be about being totally peaceful and blissed-out.  I am a worrier and a doer.   For me, wellness is a promise – a commitment to take care of myself and others, to attend to family, friends, creatures, plants, and the downtrodden, and to cultivate a bigger picture of a “well-er” world with my self included.

To connect with my sense of wellness, I begin by getting quiet.  Literally.  Taking the noise and distractions away allows the space for me to grow both inward and outward.  I get distracted very easily and I am also not someone who likes to sit still.  If I am feeling good, I am up and going!  For me quieting means performing mindful activities in silence.  These may include sitting outdoors drinking my coffee in the morning, walking, Pilates, yoga, bodywork, painting, gardening, cooking, and holding my cats 🙂 I free up in the quiet space and my mind and body have the chance to connect to a wellness that lies underneath physical symptoms or anxiety about the day.

This emergent, quiet wellness also gives space for sowing the seeds of my imagination and creativity. I don’t have to push. In fact, I can’t. The seeds will grow at their own pace and may blossom (if I’m lucky) into a sense of balance or perspective. My wellness is not a solo project, either.  It’s deeply rooted in the support of family, friends, students, doctors, bodyworkers, movement teachers, mentors, and podcasters. They ground me and nourish me and help me find up and down as I flip and flop and, on occasion, freak out!

I am beyond grateful to have found this deep well of wellness within me and around me.  It’s always there, but it has been years in the discovery and uncovering.  Some days I connect to it easily; Other days turn into epic fails despite my best efforts. On those days, receiving the help and nurturing of others is my greatest challenge and blessing.

Wellness for me begins with shhhhh . . . .creating the space to build the inner and outer relationships that feed my soul.  I hope that InsideOut can provide the resources for you to walk that path of wellness creation, whether it’s quiet or loud.

Much love to you all,

Deborah

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